Emotions

Our emotions reflect what we choose to focus on.
When I focused on my own hurt, I felt hurt and angry.
When i focused on loving other, I was filled with the love of God.

Choose to focus on loving others, rather than concentrating on my self-centered, unmet expectations.

思緒著

上帝
有一刻　我也不知道為甚麼我覺得我快要爆炸了

這些舊帳

這些我願意原諒願意放下的陳年老帳又被翻起來時

我真的很想發火

到底為什麼要再一直糾結那些感覺，那些感受

夠了吧

放過自己吧

上帝超級超級愛妳的，就相信上帝吧

當亨利說就聽聽囉，當作垃圾桶一樣被倒垃圾囉

我想，好吧！朋友不就是要更多的聆聽跟理解嗎

但是當我也需要亨利在我身邊聽我的時候

他也開始agree in how corrupt is the church system

How much hurt he had experienced... and the only solution is to avoid people and get away from the crowd.

上帝，這一刻我感覺孤立無援

甚至有些生氣覺得那亨利你那麼理解她，都覺得教會有多糟糕，那你們自己一起去一旁理解吧！

我服事起來，簡單，根本沒有這種衝突這種事情

你根本沒聽進去我想說的話！

你們都是受害者

瞬間覺得自己參與了一場我一點都不想參與的活動

而且很多人的角度和所謂的愛神的牌子

我真的無力也覺得無聊

也不是我需要去參與的事情

But I want to live a simple life, that I can serve God and love on people.

I know I am being over reacting! 

I know Henry is trying to help me understand the pain Jerty went through... and hope I can really better comfort her... when I am trying to ask Henry to bear the way too much emotion for me after listening to Jerty. 

All those complication emotions came back, and I know this is the reason why I am hesitate to get close to Jerty once again. Maybe with some jealousy, maybe with some insecurity, maybe I am just so in love with the life I have without too much interaction with Jerty. 

Lord, how can I bear all the emotions and pain from these people? Can I really love the bitterness in them? Can I accept who they are ? 

I know if I react it out to Henry, he will feel that he can’t get involved in this, and he will say, “he doesn’t care” and he will feel misunderstood. 

 

I know Jerty doesn’t mean to count all the bad things again just to ask me to apologize or anything, but simply want me to understand her, and listen to her. 

Lord, 這些感受，祢就給我更多恩典和智慧去處理吧

學會去原諒，去理解，因為我們都是罪人啊

我們都是受傷的人啊

所以夾雜在一起就是容易彼此傷害

沒有人有惡意啊⋯⋯

上帝，我不想要再跟別人抱怨，覺得自己委屈或什麼，因為也沒發生什麼事，那上帝，祢來醫治我，祢來聽我抱怨，祢來理解我，祢來當我的垃圾桶：）

祢的恩典夠我用

上帝，加添更多的愛和愛的眼光去面對我身邊我愛的人，使我更多的有智慧與他們相處

謝謝祢，讓路得願意聽我說話，使我自己走出我的情緒

其實沒什麼大不了的嘛！

哈哈

謝謝上帝～～～

回答亨利：

不想要再回去議論這些陳年舊事，這些我早已經原諒放下都忘的差不多的事情，又要重新再去聽這些委屈這些誰對誰錯，哪些東西哪些教會有問題很糟糕很哪樣哪樣，我真的不想involved... 

我或許只是需要你站在我身邊給我加油打氣讓我更有勇氣去聆聽，你說的那些你的傷痛不要接觸人就沒事，對我來說只是你很理解Jerty , 那你們兩個去一邊互相理解吧！我不理解，我的世界裡面沒有這樣

我瞬間覺得我的世界又多了一個內心還是充滿苦毒的人，然後服事都被人誤會然後被不公平對待，然後都不願意放下，然後又要再討論起這一堆事情

好像又要回去過去這半年一樣，而且說實在，亨利只是一直在逃避啊！什麼叫做就逃開人群，這樣根本不健康啊！

上帝的聲音

但是自從去了Bethel的現場敬拜

我發現能自在地跳跳唱唱敬拜是多麼多麼幸福自由的感覺啊

昨天早上服事

我發現我好期望自己可以更深的看見上帝

那個對我微笑那個慈愛的父親的臉

但我看不太清楚

我在意著有沒有更好支持worship leader

我在意著有沒有真的唱出練了超級久的合音

kept looking into my heart, does my heart mean what I sing?

I want to always have real worship, true and honest heart...

下午回家睡了一覺

去讚美之泉敬拜

遲到了十分鐘，敬拜已經開始

因為站在最後一排還被camera擋住

我反而非常自在的敬拜

沒有人看的到我

沒有人在拍我

我慢慢可以體會為甚麼Bethel的敬拜者都這麼大幅度不在意人怎麼看得跳動移動

我好開心

好自由

來到神的面前可以大聲就唱歌給祂聽

因為神的愛，神的信實而歡呼而跳躍

好感恩可以有這樣的一個地方敬拜上帝

可是我想要更深 更深的與神相遇

我非常渴慕的敬拜

然後正當我覺得 我怎麼靈進不去

我怎麼心沒辦法專心一意

然後唱到: 大大張口，大大充滿，恩膏如雨，澆灌這地'

突然

我覺得我聽到神的聲音了

上帝說: 你要甚麼 你就求阿

我腦中的下一刻就想到: Harmony

我想要會唱Harmony!!

然後那種好像上帝懂, 聽見我的禱告的那種愛就充滿我整個身體

感動的眼淚就流下來了

然後我就一邊流淚一邊說: 

上帝 我要跟你大大的要

我想要在帶敬拜上能有所突破

我好想要別人也可以經歷這樣的美好

我好想要帶好敬拜

我好想要用敬拜祝福別人

更深的一種信任

一種信任我問神, 神就懂, 祂就會給我的親密

多少時候我根本沒想過要問

因為我覺得上帝不會給我

我連想都不敢想去求

我更放鬆地在神面前敬拜

我大力地跳

我大力地搖動

我不管到底應不應該舉手 有沒有人舉手

而是我想要舉手我就舉手 

因為我知道祂一點點地在壙張的我的境界

一點點地釋放我 使我得自由

之後Mary上台說話 (我當下以為她又要說 肢體身體病痛需要的人 馬上想說 喔那跟我沒關)

她感覺到上帝今天要釋放一些人 正覺得自己最近很dry

跟神的關係很dry

不要留在原地 等待

張開雙手 先去求 先去歡迎上帝

唱不出來更要唱 

讚美不出來更要讚美

馬上又流下來眼淚

這陣子的敬拜有一點dry

這陣子真的跟神的關係有一點dry

而且這使得我會常常看重自己能不能付出 想不想付出  斤斤計較

可能是因為真的沒有花時間在神面前安靜

讀祂的話語

但是  上帝真的很愛我

平凡的一天

我不是帶著剛吵架的傷痛

更不是帶著某些苦毒

但是上帝的愛和澆灌還是這麼的真實美好

又被提醒當我們真實被神充電時

我不再懼怕人

我不再hesitate to talk to people

我充滿精神 喜樂 可以面對所有的人

上帝 祢好愛我

我也沒有做甚麼好事

but yet You love me..You talk to me, You want me to just ask!!

Thank you Lord

廖智

{在结婚的前三天廖智还特意发表了博文《还有三天》，提到在当天准备：“感谢神，还有三天，那个众人祷告等候的美丽日子就来了，从前想过很多种可能，以为会讲很多话来展现见证神的荣美，然而在预备的过程中越来越发现原来那爱太丰盛是言语不能描述，我们便将这爱完全的隐匿，以我们所能做到的最大努力以生命流露出来。好吧，就此打住。愿在那一天，我们眼中不见一人一物，唯见基督的荣美！”}



人最清醒的時候, 其實就是面對死亡的那時刻
才知道自己想要抓住甚麼
這個世界最終需要的不是堅強
而是永不止息的愛與希望


very encouraging...
What is important in this life I am living?
On the day of my death, did I actually make any impact? if a little?
有時候想想 要是真的不在這個世界上
世界也是繼續運行
公司同事繼續上班
男朋友亨利也可以再找一個女朋友結婚生小孩
身邊的朋友們也是照樣過日子啊
家人 我應該會很想很想他們
妹妹 應該會很想我吧


我可以留給世界一些甚麼呢? 我可以做一些甚麼呢?
讓人多一點快樂?
讓人認識上帝! 能夠有永生的生命
那我能夠怎麼活呢?
我現在腦子裡又都在為了甚麼而轉呢?
一大堆亨利今天怎樣怎樣 一大堆要怎麼manage我的時間 做些甚麼事情 運動 彈琴 吃健康
我花多少時間禱告呢? 我又能做些甚麼呢?

Never too late to change

Toastmaster Theme: Never too late to change

As a Christian -our church participates the tradition of Lent.

 (Mar 6- April 18)

Ash Wednesday, Mar 6
Holy Saturday, April 20

Good Friday-> Easter April 21

Fasting: powerful time of renewing your relationship with God. A way to disciplining, say "no" to the temptations/ addicting.

In our church, we don't have to fast food, but we can fast anything that we think is preventing or take away the attention we ought to put on God.

I chose to stop using Facebook/Instagram, social media...

I found it way too addicting, prevent me from focus on what is important, and what my heart desires. And I would care too much about what other people would think of me, create such images with the rightful wording...

There are too many voices shouting to me the fashion, the opinions, the good-looking models, the cool kind of pictures. It made connecting with people more superficial.

at first it is hard, fingers muscle and brain muscle go to the location on the phone automatically, and a little bit sad of feeling missing out what other people's doing...losing the freedom of access it.

but later, i find it more relief, so much more time I get to spend quality time with my love ones, and with myself, I get to spend more time reflecting, and focus enjoy the things I have always wanted to do.

I don't know what's preventing you from the life style you truly desire.

Maybe think of a way to discipline yourself, it may seem to regulate you at times, but often it gives you more freedom. Discipline set you free

Like how I feel more freedom when I don't use Facebook/Instagram, because instead of information shouting at me, I can have the chance to pick and choose what is good for me with more free time. instead of caring way too much, comparing myself with other girls, I learn to spend time alone and appreciate myself more. 

It is never too late to change...

Time of renewing

Time of reflecting

Time of quietness/meditate

Time of get rid of bad habit

Time of picking up the long forgotten yearly set goal

Time of re-commit

Rethink what bad habit, block you from the fullness of enjoying life, from living out the fullness of life. What's that one little think you can change in your life? 

Back to Social Life

Fasting social media

Mar 6- April 21

今天耶穌復活了！

也是我解禁用social media 的日子，算一算，總共47天沒有打開Facebook &Instagram.

很多人說我很厲害可以真的做到，但是其實一但決定不用，感覺還蠻輕鬆的。與世界隔離的感覺莫名的好，雖然似乎miss了幾個人的生日，幾個人的新生寶寶，幾個人的婚禮照片，但我的世界似乎照常運作著。我愛與愛我的人還是會繼續聯絡著，大致的好消息會主動跟我講的就還是會跟我講，我的世界少了很多各式各樣的聲音。看不到別人過的如何，我也不會常不自覺得去羨慕，也不會不自覺的給予批評與評論，當然也少了一個新聞跟資訊聯絡的獲取方式，哈哈😄 我似乎不是被動式的要看到每個人散發出的流行，動態，和聲音，而是有選擇的去真正關心我想關心想聯絡的朋友，主動的text & call &meet up! 更專心的活在我的當下，更認真的面對我在面對的人事物，而不讓一堆有的沒有的聲音控制影響我的腦袋。當然最重要的是也少了分享給全世界我的照片的管道 哈哈哈哈 有些感動，有些學習，有些成長跟感悟只能自己默默寫下來，或是分享給身邊親近的幾個家人朋友，不過，也罷也好，希望知道關心我的人自然也會來關心我吧！不能當下分享出去也少了我需要在意雕琢我用的字眼說詞，不用在意別人如何看怎麼想。然後其實發現根本沒有人真的那麼關心我的世界發生什麼事😂常常只是自己自作多情罷了 哈哈哈哈

說實在，今天可以開始用，我並沒有迫不期待及興奮，甚至有點擔心我又回到以前總是上癮的沒幾分鐘都會想翻開去滑一滑來填補任何的空閒，然後觀察人與人的behavior 和誰會like 哪樣的post⋯😅他或她喜歡甚至關注哪樣的事情，是有什麼樣的個性和在乎什麼。亨利會不會like 我的post and pic or command on them~

這段時間，我在學習休息，學習安靜

常常發現自己總是大包小包的出門，半夜很晚才又帶著疲憊的身體和一堆東西回家⋯ 其實那個reflect my messy mind state..

不是說真的睡不夠，或是沒有自己的時間，而是發現自己習慣性的要把所有時間塞滿，貪心的想要做好全部的事情，不管是教會的服事，toastmaster, piano class, gym life, relationship, friendships, family...我的腦袋無止盡的再思考下一件事要幹嘛，接下來的計畫是什麼，要去哪裡玩，明天的行程要帶些什麼，敬拜要選歌，找人，練習，要給亨利準備些什麼吃的喝的，要怎麼更愛他。

然後我發現當我真的沒有花一段很優質的時間專心的來到我的創造主面前安靜思考，有對話，有發洩，有訴說，有領受，我真的覺得生活快把我拖垮了。腦中只是裝滿了健身，感情，食物，和un-ending todo list.

也發現自己越來越抗拒面對一堆人的場面，有時候在公司能不要與人講話就不要⋯⋯有些內向的傾向 哈哈

我想我需要與我的耶穌時常連結，並且更照顧我自己的boundary，不要貪心的讓我自己無法休息。

選擇早一些回家，早一些自己坐下來敷敷臉思考休息。

選擇更善待我自己，才能健康的去愛別人

Jesus has risen!

Dear Jesus,

You have risen from death! You have overcome death, brought hope and light to all! How glorious! How marvelous! How wonderful! 

Jesus, thank you for Your love for us~ when we don’t deserve. Lord, I confess my sin once again that thank you for washing it white as snow. Sorry Lord, though my mind wants to follow You, and my heart wants to overcome, my body sometimes do the opposite. Father, help me to make each decision right and pleasing to You. 

Father, give me idea for the theme of the toastmaster! 

Father, let me truly live out that new life You have died on the cross in my relationship, in my workplace, and in my family, and in social media. I surrender my life to You once again, and decide to follow You wholeheartedly.

In Jesus name, Amen!

2019 Good Friday

Jesus,
Thank you for dying for us on the cross 2019 years ago.
Thank you for showing this sacrificial love that beyond imagine.
Thank you for all the pain and hurt and the feeling of betrayal ...so that we can reconnect with the Father, so we can be saved.

Lord, how do I take the cross, bear my own cross and walk with You. Jesus thank you.
I love You.

洞穴外的我

My conversation with Ruth

早上起床 看到他十二點四十傳給我說寫功課所以明天打給我

我就突然大哭😭

心裡的那些情緒好像一瞬間爆炸出來

直到他打給我 我都沒辦法接電話

我覺得我接電話我會很崩潰

而且會無限怪他

無限多情緒

我一直在整理為什麼我無法開心接納原諒的接他的電話，為什麼我心裡反而覺得我也有權利不想接電話就不要接電話⋯為什麼都是我一直在調整希望我自己可以永遠接納包容愛他，但是當我需要他回來的時候，他卻選擇把我放在門外，我覺得我始終無法釋懷。而且我覺得這種emotion disconnect 讓我真的很害怕，我覺得他沒有辦法接納我的情緒，也沒辦法接納我狀態不好的時候，我覺得他打給我的時候我會大哭，我會難過，我會希望他疼惜我，知道我辛苦了，會希望他安慰我，但是我怕我得不到，我怕他沒有辦法接受哭泣難過感到有些受傷的我，他可能更加不知道該怎麼處理，可能會離我更遠。我覺得我需要更多的的愛來選擇原諒並且接近這個人。或許我的底線是一天，我想我需要晚上就要和好，晚上就要彼此相愛，一拖到隔天，我睡不好，心理害怕跟生氣被拋下的感覺就會烙印⋯

我知道他可能也很需要我接納他在山洞裡

也很希望我可以理解他

我同時也怕我現在把小事放大，他只是需要一些時間跟空間而已，他只是需要我接納這樣的他而已，但我難道真的還要再很嚴肅的跟他表達我其實內心在呼叫，我的感受其實很受傷，我可以幽默的forgive and let go and pretend nothing happened?

不要什麼事情都戳破 然後敞開 然後怎麼和好怎麼解決呢

我覺得我內心有種很邪惡的想法，也想讓他體驗一下找不到我，我不接他電話的感受。好像每次都是我希望可以打電話，他好像只是在do me a favor, 我想 我希望他珍惜我

我想我需要放下自己，選擇去愛他，選擇去原諒他，被不接電話的感受很不好受，我真的捨得讓他去體驗這種擔心害怕的感覺嗎

我知道我也想要搞消失，也想要躲起來，讓他知道擔心我，珍惜我，讓他需要我，讓他珍惜我在身邊

每次這樣想，我就覺得我們幹嘛互相折磨

我們是partner

為什麼要用這種方式希望得到些什麼

希望得到被珍惜

希望得到attention 

希望他可以表達需要我 不想失去我 

但會不會最後本末倒置 讓他內心也開始害怕 那這樣真的是兩敗俱傷

我想，現在我有底氣這樣子搞消失，可能也是知道他不會輕易丟下我了吧

我想他也需要被鼓勵，他已經有進步, 有傳簡訊讓我知道, 也想知道他已經夠好了，足夠了！我願意接受那樣原本的他。其實他就算很需要我，他也不願意時常承認，更加說不出口，愛面子，但是我要對自己有信心他當然是需要我的啊！

我想 愛情/相處這件事常常沒有誰對誰錯，在乎於願不願意犧牲自己，去先愛，去選擇原諒，選擇愛，但同時也讓對方知道你的需要，讓對方有機會可以用你被愛的方式愛你。只要雙方都願意一起繼續跳舞，一直願意選擇原諒，了解，包容，就可以繼續相愛下去。

下午吧，讓我心情緩緩的處理，下班晚上再面對吧

Jesus choose to love

You have the choice to not do what God’s calling, but Jesus choose to follow God’s calling in making the choice of dying and suffering.

Surrender to You

Dear Heavenly Father,

What is my life about? About love, about what love? Father, let me rest in You. Let me rest in You. Let my soul rest in You. Lord, I proclaim that I belong to You! I am Yours. I am Your daughter. Daddy, I need peace, where can I find peace in my soul? Why do I find it so restless ? Help me focus on You Abba Father. 主啊你是偉大的神，再也沒有比祢更偉大的！lord You never let me go, through it all! You are faithful to me! Lord, once again, I give You my life and my heart, my soul! I surrender it to You once again, father, it is too hard for me to control it, and be so conscious about it! Lord, You help me, You lead me, You walk with me! Teach me to walk in the step of faith, teach me to learn to trust in You! Father, I once again put my job, my identity, my relationship, my family in Your hands! Father, bless them, bless those whom I love, and whom You love even more deeeply. In Jesus name, amen! 

Sing loud praise

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am so afraid of failing

I am so afraid of not doing a good job

I am so afraid of imperfect 

I am so exausted of serving... even in front of the kids.

無法掩飾自己很疲累，很煩躁，很多東西跟著我，不輕鬆的感覺，又遲到⋯又沒準時進去房間待位被人提醒。好像準備的不夠不好。

在孩子面前一點都沒辦法隱藏，早上練了一早的動作全部都忘記了，大家眼睛看著你好像有點陌生，有點無奈，有點看穿我的感覺，讓我感覺赤裸裸的

看著老師們，孩子們看我的眼神，我知道他們感受的到我那個不自在的感受

But Lord, thank You that because of You, 我可以不要臉

我可以再次跳起來，唱Worship songs，不管我的動作多幼稚，忘記了，不consistent, 但是上帝跟孩子在意的是我敬拜真實渴慕喜悅的心，不是真的動作多完美，多有趣，多美好。

Perfection is the counterfeit of excellence. Excellence is kingdom, while perfectionism is religion. 

Lord, thank you that I may come to You this morning, serving the little kids, and worship with them. Father, no matter how lazy, how last min, how imperfect I am, how not ready I am, how frustrate I have inside, how I am incapable, but Lord, Your grace is sufficient for me. You see my heart of trying, You see my heart of Worship. Therefore I will rejoice in You once again. Therefore I will rejoice for You are good to me. 

Don’t be afraid

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows:) 

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know my heart so well and You understand me. Father, You know if I can do well in this position or not, and if You think I can handle it, then please open door for me. Lord, if You think I should stay in my position and continue to strive for better improvement, or let me open to the other possibility job, then don’t open this opportunity for me. Father, seriously I am nervous just after the conversation. Lord, I often wonder what’s the purpose of my life? What can I do to better serve Your people. What is it that ability that you want me to use... and how can I use it in my job? Vlogger? Makeup artist? Wedding planner? Program manager? Engineer? 

Father, give me a heart of courage, willing to step out of my comfort zone and pursue what true passion. A passion for people, a passion to share! In Jesus name, Amen!

Prayer for forgiveness

謊言:
我需要做個完美的女朋友, 他所喜歡的那種輕鬆不給他壓力, 不試圖改變他, 能夠接受他 包容他不反駁他 樂觀開心  總是鼓勵他 仰慕他 對他微笑 而且給他面子  不在外面讓他丟臉 不是很麻煩的女朋友

越害怕自己犯錯 越不想做自己 越否定自己 越覺得自己很糟糕 對自己標準很高很多 做不到 很挫折 想放棄  覺得自己沒有資格和能力好好愛這個人
最怕自己掉到這種沒有盼望的洞裡出不來的感覺
為甚麼又這樣
我明明那麼努力要追求上帝 為甚麼又變成emotional 為甚麼又要哭  為甚麼明明沒什麼事又要upset
我明明覺得我有在更了解他了, 我明明覺得我會做好的, 我明明知道他需要甚麼, 他要怎麼感覺到愛

我不想要被人家說 我情緒不穩 我有問題 我沒有辦法控制情緒
為什麼我要一直看著自己 為甚麼我要這麼希望自己能怎麼樣呢? 你是因為害怕不被接納嗎? 害怕被拋下嗎? 害怕別人覺得你很麻煩嗎?



謊言:
我有情緒, 不完美的狀態接近他 我只會犯錯 只會搞砸 到時候他會覺得很辛苦 我在指責責怪他
說也不是  不說又委屈的要命





蔡月貽 你好累 辛苦妳了 妳知道就算世界上的人沒有辦法接受這樣的妳 上帝還是抱抱妳 愛妳 就算沒有這段感情 你也還是上帝寶貝的女兒  妳爸爸媽媽的女兒

上帝
祢來釋放原諒我 對我自己的不接納 祢來原諒蔡月貽對自己的責備 還有批評控告自己 不進步 不改進 "又" 如何如何 祢來原諒蔡月貽的驕傲覺得自己要做到100% 才會被愛這種孤兒的心, 祢來原諒我不相信自己有能力愛人 有能力成為祝福 有能力選擇不傷害別人 

Lord, You replaced those lies and 控告，定位 with the truth that I am beloved, I am lovable, I may be weak and have emotion when I sense something and when I tries to protect myself, but I am fully capable of loving Henry. Replace those lies about giving pressure to Henry with the truth of I am not the source of problem and I am not the one who gives pressure. Replace with the truth that I am responsible and Emotion is not wrong and it is ok to be not perfect girlfriend, and it is ok to have emotion, it is ok to feel insecured, and it is ok to feel upset, it does not mean you are a terrible person that Henry or your father doesn’t like. Father, forgive Candy for selling lies and being harsh to herself. Forgive her and heal the inner her with Your everlasting love, the love that forgive, the love that renew, the love that gave hope, the love that bear weakness, the love that has power. Replace those lies with truth that Candy is a great girlfriend who is always striving to love more, forgive first, and take action in loving other people, who care, who has compassion, who likes to take care of people, who truly tries to understand people. Replace the lies of Candy needs to run to a place to fix all her problems and issues before he can be healthy to work this relationship thing out. Replace the tendency of wanting to run away with the truth of Henry loves and accept the way she is, and would hope Candy is freely happy to be where she is, so she doesn’t need to run away because the Father in heaven is with her, and fully embrace her and accept her. Henry is too...

Father, forgive Candy and replace those lies and fear with courage and with confidence. Thank You Father for loving me and telling me that I can be who I am as where I am, I don’t need to run away and make myself perfect, because God is what’s matters~~ In Jesus name, 

上帝的兒女 4/5/19-4/7/19 Coworker retreat

天父-我們是上帝的兒女

不是奴僕的心

我們不是要討父親的歡心，而是希望我們去享受/恢復那個關係

靈修時最大的挑戰

Lack of focus 

時間排太滿，行程排太緊，other better things to do

想要完美，所以覺得要花good amount of times to do it, 導致最後就被排到最後或是end up 沒做

人是會讓你失望的，豬隊友！

主啊，我想要花時間來釋放我對亨利的一些失望，我期望他會是帶領我的屬靈夥伴，甚至是領袖，但是和他在一起之後，似乎是常常讓我無意識的覺得我要扛我們的感情的屬靈，我要更有責任的親近神，我要更喜樂的服事親近神，我要成為更好的基督徒。主啊，我願意原諒他，也願意釋放他！也願你來釋放我這奴僕的心，坦然無懼帶著我的問題，不足，單單來到祢的面前，來享受，來信任祢的愛。因為祢也願意原諒我們，也願意釋放我們。謝謝你， 奉主的名，阿們

信任人，信任上帝，安全感，接納自己的不完美

學會等待，交託，相信他的愛 

在這當中被醫治，恢復我女兒的樣式

更多仰望神享受神，不是專注在問題上面

Mission fund monthly.

Tyth regularly

Me? Extrovert?

Extroverts
Strengths
-strong social skill
-Working in groups- communicate better
-Talking about their feelings, sometimes share too much at tmes, valunerbility
-Entertaining people
-Easy to be the center of the attention (like attention), performing on stage, presentation, hosting parties
-First Impressions (dating, job interview), outgoing nature
-Flirting, confidence
-enthusatic
-Natural risk taking, next exicting advanture
-able to make friends from all walks of life, variety
-curiosity brings unique experience
-Likely to succeed in their career (highly conscintious, constanly figure out how things work, motivated by challenges)
-People oriented


Weakness
-Being alone
-Dealing with Boredom
-Talking too much
-Being clingy (want to depend on people)
-Revealing too much

after finding out all these, I can say I have shift from extrovert to a little introvert. I have noticed my introvert side and maybe that is why I actually do rather love to hang out with introvert and find them specially interesting and conversation more insightful.

I want to thank God for creating me as who I am. I thank God for giving me different kind of people around me who give me advice when I need, who open up different world to me, who doesn't judge me but listen to me.
Lord, I love You so much.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Understand Introverts people

Introverts

-having thought provoking conversation
-don't like chitchat- meaningless talk, hate small talk
-A lot of socializing can be overwhelming
-want to get straight down to the meat of things (deepest thought, desires, dreams)
-have a therapist guidance counselor mentality and charisma, causing us to make you feel more comfortable with speaking your mind and soul.
-get a satisfaction of having a meaningful conversation with someone without having to fill the empty space with chitchat
-someone who will really listen to you and your thoughts.

-being effective sales people
-pay attention care and are comfortable in familiar situations

-Introverts love to swaddled in love and affection by those close to them especially furry friends (animals)
-they sympathize with animals and can calm a troubled pet since they are experienced with calming their own troubled minds.
- they are like animal, they have a lot of energy and want to have fun, eat and get their belly rubbed but when all is said and done they need their rest

-Being Observant
-Introvert analyze the surrounding,  rather than focus on biases, so when they finally voice out their misgivings, they should be taken seriously.

- they are also the ones to be the devil's advocate notice flaws and ideas and concepts
-they spend a lot of times thinking about the worst possible situation and how to get out of them.

-listen to your troubles, since introverts know how hard it is for them to express their emotions verbally, if a loved do express his feelings to them they will listen hard and well, perfect for when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to hear your story.

-Sensitive to pain, familiar with pain and suffering, so they are quite experienced on how to alleviate any emotional pain your are going through.

-introverts don't speak quite often so when they do every single word was chosen very careful, sometimes due to this introverts may take a while to get a sentence out since they are mentally preparing and rehearsing each word before they say it.

-know themselves well, quiet persons have the loudest minds, constantly having inner monologues, evaluating themselves and their choices in everyday situations.

-their minds are constantly urging for more facts and things to ponder over in the silence of their daily lives.
-Don't like spotlight
-Don't want to cause other trouble


What I like about introvert? (Henry, Ruth)
Always feel free and secured to share my hardest feeling/situation with them.
Always have deeper meaningful kind of conversation, walk out getting different perspective and insight. walk out feeling more relief & and educated.
sometimes know me better than myself
Always feels like being listened, understood, never judged or have biases. Great great listener. provide incredible advice like counselors, source of wisdom.
Humors, react quick with jokes. super smart with logic
Always notice my need to details, take actions of helping others instead of speak it out loud.
Prepared, professionals, on time, humble, attentive, careful to detail, get the work done very nicely, thinking before acting, triple check themselves...remind me and I can look up/admire.
They know who they are, what they want, and what is important to them.- confident!
Being loyal friend, will not betray you, will never talk your secret behind your back or lie to you in a harmful way. cherished friendships and would never betray someone who once confided in them. Value relationship and try hard to maintain them. best friend you ever had.

They choose friends carefully, quality over quantity

10 things introverts need in a relationship
-Meaningful conversation- hoping to discuss open ended question
-less stimulating environments
-take it slow
-Be understanding, sense/consider their feeling, don't enjoy conflict, more careful about what battle to fight
-provide mental support, they often overthinking,  play best friend role
-read between the lines
-respect the space
-spend quality time together
-Fully accept them, assure to love them for who they are
-don't assume