[12:36:14 AM] 蔡月貽: dad
[12:40:21 AM] Stanley Tsai: Hi
[12:45:13 AM] Stanley Tsai: How are you
[12:45:27 AM] Stanley Tsai: It is very late now
[12:45:38 AM] 蔡月貽: i am good
[12:45:47 AM] 蔡月貽: i had a talk with jes yesterday
[12:45:54 AM] 蔡月貽: and i finally know what happened
[12:45:55 AM] Stanley Tsai: You should sleep early
[12:46:16 AM] Stanley Tsai: What happened
[12:46:30 AM] 蔡月貽: to me
[12:46:36 AM] 蔡月貽: it was just a tiny thing
[12:46:46 AM] 蔡月貽: but seems like it is a big deal for her
[12:47:05 AM] Stanley Tsai: So, what is wrong with her
[12:47:14 AM] 蔡月貽: i think she just doesn't like the way I handle a event...
[12:47:34 AM] Stanley Tsai: Ok
[12:47:35 AM] 蔡月貽: and how I didn't 處理的很好
[12:48:01 AM] 蔡月貽: 他所謂的對事不對人
[12:48:10 AM] 蔡月貽: 我就問他為甚麼都不跟我講哩
[12:48:12 AM] Stanley Tsai: People got to learn from mistake
[12:48:37 AM] 蔡月貽: 有些是我根本不知道我有Put her in the spot and make her really uncomfortable or even mad
[12:48:47 AM] Stanley Tsai: She just made this too seriuous
[12:49:06 AM] 蔡月貽: 可是他說他不想要說
[12:49:14 AM] 蔡月貽: 我覺得我們價值觀差的蠻多的
[12:49:25 AM] Stanley Tsai: Maybe
[12:49:41 AM] 蔡月貽: 對一件事的看法也可以天差地遠
[12:49:55 AM] 蔡月貽: 對我來說 友情本來就會摩擦
[12:50:01 AM] 蔡月貽: 兩個人本來就不同
[12:50:15 AM] 蔡月貽: 做事方式也不同
[12:50:22 AM] 蔡月貽: 所以才需要溝通
[12:50:25 AM] 蔡月貽: 講開
[12:50:26 AM] Stanley Tsai:
It is ok to see thing different
[12:51:19 AM] 蔡月貽: 對我來說 真正的友情是願意提醒對方或是講出自己的不滿然後希望對方可以以後注意一點
[12:51:21 AM] 蔡月貽: 不過
[12:51:25 AM] 蔡月貽: 他說
[12:51:30 AM] 蔡月貽: 他不願意提醒我阿
[12:51:34 AM] Stanley Tsai:
You have to learn how to take this kind of thing less serious and make yourself very uncomfortable
[12:51:38 AM] 蔡月貽: 他說 就算他說了 我也不會改變
[12:51:44 AM] 蔡月貽: 那何必要說呢
[12:52:08 AM] 蔡月貽: 我其實看的很淡了
[12:52:11 AM] 蔡月貽: 沒有關係
[12:52:17 AM] 蔡月貽: 我接受它的不一樣
[12:52:29 AM] 蔡月貽: 她的觀念真的跟我差很多
[12:52:32 AM] 蔡月貽: and that's ok
[12:52:33 AM] Stanley Tsai: Yes
[12:52:40 AM] 蔡月貽: maybe we just can't be that close friend
[12:52:43 AM] 蔡月貽: and its fine
[12:52:59 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Everyone is different and makes this world interesting
[12:53:07 AM] 蔡月貽: 對阿
[12:53:18 AM] Stanley Tsai:
When you undertand this
[12:53:27 AM] 蔡月貽: 只是有時候真的很驚訝 原來他竟然這樣想
[12:53:35 AM] Stanley Tsai:
You will take it easy for this kind of thing
[12:53:48 AM] 蔡月貽: 明明對我來說是醫見這樣的事, 他竟然可以有這樣的見解
[12:53:53 AM] 蔡月貽: i am...
[12:54:01 AM] 蔡月貽: after this summer
[12:54:10 AM] 蔡月貽: i learned to take things easy
[12:54:13 AM] Stanley Tsai:
If she does not like to be friend with you, then let it be. You have other friends
[12:54:25 AM] 蔡月貽: 感情 常常 就是經不注考驗的
[12:54:33 AM] 蔡月貽: 對阿
[12:55:04 AM] 蔡月貽: 他沒有說他不跟我當朋友 只是 對我來說 我不喜歡我們中間有很多的疙瘩
[12:55:14 AM] 蔡月貽: 讓我沒有辦法真心誠意的對待他
[12:55:18 AM] Stanley Tsai:
感情不是用來考驗的
[12:55:21 AM] 蔡月貽: 所以
[12:55:27 AM] 蔡月貽: 現在就講開了
[12:55:31 AM] 蔡月貽: 就好了
[12:56:13 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩
[12:56:25 AM] Stanley Tsai:
是發自於內心,但要用心圍護的
[12:56:44 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩
[12:56:58 AM] 蔡月貽: 我同意
[12:57:47 AM] 蔡月貽: 只是 我可能比較適合跟有話直說不要都不說的人做朋友吧
[12:58:19 AM] 蔡月貽: 我覺得
[12:58:32 AM] 蔡月貽: 常常 我在用心 可是都會被誤解
[12:58:41 AM] 蔡月貽: 那時候就會很難過
[12:59:00 AM] Stanley Tsai:
你用了心對人,若對方不領情也就算了。天下之大無奇不有。自己要活得認真,但也要活得快樂
[12:59:37 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩
[1:00:01 AM] 蔡月貽: 我現在很愛神 也趕受神很愛我 就還蠻輕鬆快樂的
[1:00:04 AM] 蔡月貽: 哈哈哈
[1:00:26 AM] Stanley Tsai:
千萬不要用自己的標準要求別人。
[1:00:49 AM] 蔡月貽: 對未來有很多無知 可是把它交給神就輕鬆很多
[1:00:57 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩 我一直在學習這一點
[1:01:04 AM] 蔡月貽: 因為會給人很大的壓力
[1:02:09 AM] 蔡月貽: 應該會慢慢做到的
[1:02:45 AM] 蔡月貽: 我常常都因為對方做不到自己的標準自己很難過也給對方很大的壓力
[1:02:46 AM] Stanley Tsai:
多站在對方立場思考一吓會更好。交給神是好的。但不是所有的都推給神。
[1:03:16 AM] 蔡月貽: 我常常覺得我有為對方想
[1:03:27 AM] 蔡月貽: 可是 其他人好像不覺得
[1:03:58 AM] 蔡月貽: jessica 她說 她覺得我常常都不考慮到別人的感受
[1:04:06 AM] 蔡月貽: 很自主
[1:04:22 AM] 蔡月貽: which 跟我自己想我自己有很大的出入
[1:04:50 AM] Stanley Tsai:
這是錯覺。往往你都仍是用自我方法去處理別人的事
[1:05:51 AM] 蔡月貽: 我也沒有神麼都推給神啦, 只是覺得神是我可以完全依靠的, 不會不愛我或是離開我
[1:05:53 AM] 蔡月貽: 對阿
[1:06:02 AM] 蔡月貽: 可是 我就不希望有這種錯覺阿
[1:06:10 AM] 蔡月貽: 也不知道該怎麼改
[1:06:51 AM] 蔡月貽: 問題就是再 我常常有錯覺我是為別人著想
[1:06:52 AM] Stanley Tsai: 是的神永遠在我們身邊
[1:06:59 AM] 蔡月貽: 可是往往就會傷害到人
[1:07:09 AM] 蔡月貽: 自己也不知道
[1:07:29 AM] 蔡月貽: 可是 自我的方式 我也趕絕不太出來
[1:07:48 AM] 蔡月貽: 所以 就不知道怎麼看到自己正再用自己的方式處理別人的事
[1:09:41 AM] Stanley Tsai:
It is fine, candy. People is learning from experience. Jessica may not be right. You do not have to blame yourself. You did not do any thing to hurt her. That was only her feeling
[1:09:44 AM] 蔡月貽: 總之 我想了很多... 也很感謝他願意跟我說 她是怎麼想我的...."自我" 可是 我連想改 我都不知道該怎麼改 我根本察覺不出來哪時候是我只是一昧的用自己的方式再處理事
[1:10:24 AM] 蔡月貽: 我沒有blame
[1:10:26 AM] 蔡月貽: 自己
[1:10:30 AM] 蔡月貽: because i am who i am
[1:10:42 AM] 蔡月貽: god make me like this and I have my own personality
[1:10:50 AM] 蔡月貽: but I do hope to be a better person
[1:11:20 AM] 蔡月貽: and maybe can lessen the time I may hurt people accidently
[1:11:29 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Do not try to change somebody,s mind by your own way. You may change people by what you have done with bible,s teaching.
[1:12:10 AM] 蔡月貽: ok
[1:12:12 AM] Stanley Tsai: You are a very good and kind person.
[1:12:46 AM] 蔡月貽: maybe I kind of get it now
[1:13:05 AM] 蔡月貽: try to change somebody using my own way....
[1:13:17 AM] 蔡月貽: maybe I understand it now.
[1:13:24 AM] 蔡月貽: 我可以從這一點來下手
[1:14:14 AM] Stanley Tsai:
You may tell somebody your opinions on things, but do not push too hard to anybody to accept your opinions.
[1:14:22 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩
[1:15:04 AM] 蔡月貽: 我今天又被蜜蜂叮了
[1:15:10 AM] 蔡月貽: 很莫名其妙
[1:16:03 AM] Stanley Tsai:
要學著用智慧處理事情。不要用情緒處理事情。
[1:16:47 AM] 蔡月貽: 喔喔
[1:17:20 AM] 蔡月貽: 我會慢慢體驗的
[1:17:24 AM] Stanley Tsai:
有時候很多事回頭去看也就是一笑致之
[1:18:33 AM] 蔡月貽: 其實 我現在還很難體驗 我知道我很情緒化 情緒很豐富 可是 我覺得 我智慧還不夠多 所以 用智慧處理事情 對我來說還算是蠻抽象的
[1:20:07 AM] Stanley Tsai:
包括感情也是。該執着時要執着,但該放鬆時也就要放手,人生才會開濶
[1:21:20 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩
[1:22:15 AM] Stanley Tsai:
其實用智慧處事並不難。也就是要控制自己情緒。不要被情緒帶著走。就是智慧。
[1:23:25 AM] 蔡月貽: 恩恩
[1:23:38 AM] 蔡月貽: 可是光是要可以控制情緒已經是一個大功課了
[1:24:43 AM] 蔡月貽: 至少 我現在可以比較心平氣和的面對jessica 或是跟她談這些話題
[1:26:41 AM] 蔡月貽: 而且 我也會常常有錯覺 覺得自己沒有在情緒化阿...
[1:26:46 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Yes, think of god,words, when you have emotion
[1:27:05 AM] 蔡月貽: 光是要realize 這些對我來說都還有進步的空間
[1:27:33 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Yes, you are young, you have to experience more
[1:28:34 AM] Stanley Tsai:
You know, if you can always control your emotion, or temper, you will be a winner in the society.
[1:29:31 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Usually, you will be loser, if you are so emotional because when you have temper, you will easy to lose mind and do not make thing right. Actually, I thing you are already quite good on this, at least you like to talk about that
[1:31:43 AM] 蔡月貽: i don't know
[1:31:52 AM] 蔡月貽: i think i am improving
[1:32:02 AM] 蔡月貽: and there are still spaces for me to grow
[1:32:11 AM] 蔡月貽: and I do realize I am really young
[1:32:22 AM] 蔡月貽: there are so many things that I can't realize and feel yet
[1:32:46 AM] Stanley Tsai: Yes
[1:33:15 AM] Stanley Tsai: I am happy you can talk with me for this
[1:33:42 AM] Stanley Tsai: You should also learn to talk with mom like you talked with me
[1:33:51 AM] 蔡月貽: i tried
[1:33:59 AM] 蔡月貽: but mom always lose patience with me sometime
[1:34:10 AM] 蔡月貽: I am always trying to tell her something
[1:34:20 AM] 蔡月貽: but she is always busy when I am talking with her
[1:34:29 AM] 蔡月貽: and not pay attention to what I am saying
[1:34:41 AM] Stanley Tsai:
I know she is also emotional, but she needs you to get close with her, at the bottom of her heart
[1:35:09 AM] 蔡月貽: i know
[1:35:16 AM] 蔡月貽: and I am keep trying too
[1:35:29 AM] 蔡月貽: maybe i should skype with her too
[1:35:58 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Sometimes, when you get home, you can talk with her softly at her bed. Take her as your best friend, not your mom
[1:36:13 AM] 蔡月貽: ok
[1:36:27 AM] Stanley Tsai: Too late now. Good night
[1:36:32 AM] 蔡月貽: ok
[1:36:46 AM] 蔡月貽: mom easily lose patience with me sometimes
[1:39:11 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Change way to talk with her. She needs someone very soft
[1:40:00 AM] 蔡月貽: oh
[1:40:00 AM] 蔡月貽: ok
[1:40:05 AM] Stanley Tsai:
Because she is very tough , even to herself. I think she is changing a bit now
很開心 又上了一課
很值得!!
我慢慢了解一些事了
或許 人家所謂我的自主就是這樣的意思吧!
常常用我自己的想法和處理方式來處理別人的事, 不小心就強迫灌輸別人我的意見
主的十架是無價至寶
這首歌我唱到"跌倒軟弱 主包容不放棄我"
想到
神從來都不放棄我
多少世上的事和人放棄我
可是
這位神
祂"永遠"不放棄我(你能想像嗎?)