回答禱告安慰我的神

一早起來

看到kitty 興奮的激勵大家為團契禱告使心裡的火不被澆熄。

心裡的不平衡升起⋯覺得自己不被團契需要了，大家都聽kitty 的話了，上帝到底要我做些什麼呢？我做了半年的團長似乎什麼都心有餘而力不足的沒有把人帶起來。。我開始比較，開始覺得自己可以離開團契了，團契不需要我了，我不但畢業了，也不再住在Irvine了。當初的那個熱血的激情也因為沒有成效而退縮。我知道這是我心中的驕傲，看到大家合一，我應該更要開心，看到大家被挑旺，我應該更加為這個感謝神，但為什麼就是有個聲音一直跟我說這些都不與我有份，我好像沒參與到神的國神的計劃。我知道我在乎人的眼光，人的贊同，人的喜歡和肯定我當團長的資格，但現在的一無是處什麼人都沒帶起來(disciple anyone)的比較，我覺得很垂頭喪氣。我知道我應該要更在乎上帝使用kitty 在我們當中的心意，和計畫，我也始終很感恩她可以來到我們當中挑旺大家。我求神改變我的心態，拿去一堆謊言和使我憂悶的想法。早上諸事不順，又用吹風機燙傷，又忘記轉freeway 57而導致很晚才到公司。我的心一直在掙扎知道我需要有改變，我的心態需要轉變，需要有pure motive,需要在乎神的國而不是在乎人的眼光和認同。然後我打開聖經想尋求神的話語來安慰我⋯然後看著看著⋯⋯好想哭，一字一句清楚的在我面前⋯清楚的跟我說不要在乎人的崇拜和讚美來做事，單單要為了神的心意而行事。我的心好像不再有爭扎和苦讀，而是我也願意來禱告求神使用我，求神跟我說他的心意，怎樣來配搭我的同工，怎樣服事這個團契？我要禁食甜食來花時間禱告尋求神，讓二月有個新的開始。

"For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (1 Thessalonians 2:3-12 NIV)"