MCF

如果用幾個字來形容MCF...

是一個像是家一樣的地方
是一個可以休息的地方
是一個可以看到可愛面孔的地方
是一個看到兄弟姐妹成長的地方
是一個可以安心的地方
是一個預見神的地方
有同輩朋友的地方

能夠讓不相信的人接觸神

上班以後...
我更加珍惜可以周五有地方去
不同的同事約我去不同的地方
我感覺我有一個最好的地方....MCF

A prayer about my insecurity( that's killing me....)

FROM  So Long, Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend to Us

By Beth Moore

• I come to You this moment because I need some things only You can give me.  I need restoration, Lord.  I need my dignity back.  You alone know what insecurity has cost me, what trouble – even torment – it has caused me.  You are intimately acquainted with every time it’s made a fool of me.  You know how hard I’ve fought to play the game, but You also know that in the aftermath I’ve been defeated.  I’m sick of faking.  I’m sick of sulking. I desperately need and want to be delivered from my chronic insecurity.  I am ready to discover what it means to be truly secure.  I am willing to do whatever it takes to be free and to allow You to do through me what I cannot do for myself.  You are the All-Powerful, All-Knowing Maker of heaven and earth and the grand Weaver of every human soul. You alone know how we are made and who we’re meant to be.  I’m not asking for anything You’re not willing to give me.  You have not shortchanged me.  I have shortchanged myself and allowed my culture to sell me short.
  
  You know the way I’m formed.  You know what motivates me.  You know what shuts me down.  You know how driven I am by fear and how exhausted I am from surrendering to it.  Lord, in the most hidden places, I am so afraid that… ___________________
  
  Deliver me, Lord.  You have not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.  That’s what Scripture says.  I claim each of those priceless traits as mine this day.  Your desire is for me to be free of every unhealthy motivation.  Reveal any place they reside uncontested in me, and supply the courage I need to refuse to do their bidding.  You have searched the deepest recesses of my heart and mind.  I don’t need to hide anything from You or act stronger or more together than I am.  Help me to come before You with complete transparency, and grant me a supernatural confidence that I am safe with You and loved by You.  I don’t have to muster feelings I don’t possess or hang my head in defeat and shame.  Because of Your grace, I can come to You just as I am.  This is the way I would describe myself to You right now:  ______________________________________________
  
  But Lord, You know me better than I know myself.  You know why I think like I do and why I feel like I do.  You know my every thought.  My every disappointment.  You know every ugly or ridiculous thing I’ve ever said or done out of insecurity.  You see every fissure in my soul, and You look beyond the point of my failure to the depth of my need.  As You reveal Yourself to me, I ask that You also mercifully reveal myself to me.  Grant me insight into patterns I’ve developed, and give me answers that bring healing.  Make me wholly unafraid of anything that I might see in myself in the light You provide.  Help me to trust that You only shed light where You’re willing to heal.
  
  God, You know the complexities of my soul and that most of the time I can’t even figure myself out.  You know how I swing like a dizzy pendulum between self-loathing and self-exaltation.  As I begin this prayer of restoration, I ask You, Lord, to help me take responsibility for the insecurity that is my own doing.  My own fault.  My own sin.  I am painfully aware that I’ve created some of my own misery.  I have tried to make a god of myself too many times, and it hasn’t worked.  It will never work.  In calling me to this time of confession, Your desire is my freedom, not my self-condemnation, so with confidence, I welcome the one and reject the other.  With these things in mind, hear my confessions: __________________________________________________
  
  Please forgive me for my self-worship.  For my relentless pursuit of control and for my futile attempts at doing Your job.  Forgive me for my foolish pride.  Forgive me for nursing my ego until it grows so fat that everything touching it bruises it.  Forgive me for my miserable self-absorption.  Forgive me for the jealousy and covetousness that feed my insecurity.  Forgive me for turning to many things into competitions.  For being so fixated on what I don’t have that I leave the gifts You’ve given me undeveloped and much less effective than You intended them to be.  Forgive me for thinking pitifully little of the person You’ve made me.  Forgive me for committing the flagrant sin of despising myself and considering myself inferior to others.  Forgive me equally for every time I’ve sighed with relief at the thought that I might be superior after all.
  
  Forgive me for my unbelief.  If I realized how valuable I am, my insatiable need for affirmation would be quieted.  Forgive me for being such a perfectgionist that I resist doing something good out of fear that it won’t be great.  Forgive me for the inordinated self-protection that has only managed to imprison me.  Forgive me also for …
  
  
  This very moment I receive Your lavish forgiveness and Your complete cleansing and in Your name I release all the shame that has come from self-inflicted insecurity.  From now on, Lord, and every day for the rest of my life, heighten my conviction until I’m instantly aware when insecurity is my own making.  Help me to recognize any form of pride or unbelief and to refuse it promptly.
  
  Now, Lord, I ask You to pull up the roots of insecurity that were not of my own doing, and usher in healing and restoration.  You know every single place where instability has touched my life.  You remember details that were long erased from my memory but are still inflicting insecurity.  You know what first frightened me into believing that no one and nothing could be trusted and that I’m on my own out here in a very unsafe world.  You know the national origin of every irrational fear.  You know where I developed a belief system based on the frailties of man instead of the bedrock of You.  You have been with me every moment, even when I felt there was no one to take care of me.  I give You my whole heart.  Touch every broken and wounded place with Your healing hand.
  
  Lord, empower me to forgive those who have let me down, failed to protect me,  or inflicted injury upon me.  Help me to see them as needy, broken people in their own right, and Lord, where there is still life and opportunity, bring redemption to those relationships.  Help me to understand the gravity of this juncture:  that if I do not seek healing and wholeness I will instead end up perpetuating the cycle of injury.  Break the cycle with me, O Lord.  Break the cycle with me.
  
  Lord, come and treat my heart and soul where they have been shattered by loss.  No one on earth can esteem the loss of something precious the way You can.  You know the pain.  You know the unbearable emptiness that can come with loss.  You recognize my attempt to fill the void with things that never suffice.  You know how my feelings frighten me and how the enemy of my soul would have me believe that I will never be okay.  Make a liar out of him, Lord.  Do not let him win.  Do not let loss win.  Be my gain, Lord.  Flood my life with purpose and compassion.  Be my strength in weakness.
  
  Please do not let me confuse healing with betrayal.  Help me to see any place in my life where I’m hanging on to my grief or anger in an attempt to hang on to what I’ve lost.  Grant me the gift of healthy grief that does not fight the pain or the process of healing.  Lord, please help me to see where I have suffered a substantial loss that I’ve never regarded.  Where I lost innocence, grant me integrity. Where I lost a relationship, grant me true intimacy.  Where I lost a home, grant me an internal, unshakable sense of belonging.  Where I’ve held someone responsible for my loss, grant me the ability to forgive.  Don’t stop until You’ve made a miracle of me.
  
  Lord, help me to learn how to hang on tight to You when my life is rocked by dramatic change.  Empower me to trust You and not to panic or fight for control.  Help me to stop confusing a change in my circumstances with a change in my security status.  You are my security, O God.  You are the One Sure thing.  When everything around me shakes, You are unshakable.  Nothing has the propensity to reveal false gods to me like a sudden change in my circumstances.  Help me to see them and surrender them instantaneously.  Use change to provoke what needs changing in me, Lord, and to increase my appreciation of the only One Who is the same yesterday, today and forever.
  
  Lord, I now ask You to single out everything You entrusted to me as part of my physical and psychological makeup:  personal limitations, my appearance, and my God-given disposition.  You knew what You were doing when You formed me in my mother’s womb.  Nothing is without purpose. Nothing has thrown off the plan.  Every gift, challenge, and obstacle is meant to shape the specific destiny You ordained for me before time began.  Your intent is to make a wonder out of me and show what You can do through me.  You mean to increase the praise that comes to You because of my life.  You want to defy the odds in order to make Yourself conspicuous in me.  Please deliver me from self-pity and a life of excuses and rationalizations.  And Lord, where I’ve otherwise lapsed into self-adoration and self-centeredness instead, help me to recognize my narcissism and no longer tolerate it.  Of all things, please don’t let it be said that I loved myself too much to fully love anybody else.  Please don’t let me gain the world but lose my soul.
  
  Father, help me to see where I am overly sensitive and where I put too much pressure on relationships.  Help me to see where I insist on making a situation all about me.  I really want to change.  Help me to quit saying, “This is the way I am,” and remind me that I am capable of tremendous transformation with You.  Deliver me from insecurity in my relationships.  Help me to cease being so easily wounded, but at the same time, keep me from growing hardened.  Help me to resign my position as a game player and manipulator without resigning myself to a life of misuse.  Help me to realize that it’s pointless to demand that others love me more or love me better.  Real affection cannot be coerced.  I cannot put a human in charge of my security without setting him or her up for certain failure.  Help me stop using a person as my mirror and start seeing myself as You alone see me.
  
  Lord, even in the midst of all these requests, I thank You with all my whole heart for working so diligently in my life.  Yes, there have been people who have hurt me and have done a very poor job of taking Your place, but there have also been people who have shown me glimpses of You.  Not perfect people, but genuine people.  In particular, I thank You for _______________________
  
  I thank You for all You have done to get me to this place and for the plan You have ahead for me.  I come now, Lord, to the apex of my petition:  Please restore to my soul all that insecurity has stolen from me.   Overturn every single thing the enemy meant for evil into something good.  Perform a miracle on me, Lord.  Cover me with Your trustworthy hand.  Clothe me with strength and dignity.  Transform what drives me.  Quell what triggers me.  Make me a courageous man or woman in this harrowing culture.  One who refuses to be reduced and defined by the media.  Help me to make conscious decisions about whether or not the cost of what they’re selling is worth buying.  Give me the discernment to call a lie and lie.
  
  Make me the kind of man or woman a little girl or little guy could follow to dignity and security.  I actively and deliberately receive – and vow to keep receiving – everything that I have requested in Your will this day.  Let this statement reverberate into every corner of my life and invade the bone marrow of my belief system:  Today on _________________ (date), I receive my dignity back.  No one and nothing can take it from me because You are the One who gave it.  Help me to recognize that I’ve lost my dignity only because I have surrendered it.  Empower me to claim it back and hang on to it with all my might.  Because of Your mercy, Lord, I am no fool.  Only a wise man or woman shifts his or her trust to You.   In Jesus’ saving and delivering Name, I pray, Amen!
  

老爸

三個爸爸太可愛了～^_^

我買到了個六塊的鏡子～～

而且今天終於跟室友認識了，而且她人好好還什麼都跟我share~~有鍋子能吃泡麵啦

今天去書店看書，讀到這篇～覺得想讓志勇看看！

God is stronger

因上帝的愚拙總比人智慧，上帝的軟弱總比人強壯。 (哥林多前書 1:25 CUNP-上帝)

帶孩子唱歌，一句句的教導他們

God is stronger! God is stronger!!!

But how often I forgot that God is stronger and full of wisdom! I tried to manage my life to the way I wanted.. But what do I want?

我只想要內心平靜

我只想要能睡好覺

我只想要踏實的感覺

但是常常把所有的東西都弄齊了

沒有內心平靜，有恐懼，有孤獨感，有不踏實感，還是讓我睡不好⋯⋯⋯

上帝，我向您求內心平靜踏實

心不會懸在半空中空空的

Fills my heart with your grace, surprisingly joy!!! Lord, you know how to put my heart together again! You know me so well. Lord, help me to adapt my new home!!!

這好可愛～～～～

Bored to sleep

.....meeting is so boring

Couldn't help myself to not fall asleep~~

Ughhh so tired

Just wanna find a place to sleep

Couldn't focus even in front of the computer desk.

Until lunch time when I see my delicious lunch I made last night:)

好像比較可以開始上班了⋯⋯進入狀況

有飯吃啦

在志勇家煮了些飯菜吃～

下週有著落了！！

Baby 還貼心的給我幾瓶水。

本來感覺要整理很久的一大堆東西

不知不覺也收了一大半了，至少可以走路了～～

雖然還在病當中⋯⋯卻有Timothy 請客吃飯感謝主！

台灣下雪了，這裏卻藍天白雲～-_-#真幸福阿

搬家

其實⋯⋯我是一個超級念舊的人

討厭搬家，討厭離開一個舊環境

好不容易適應而且愛上每天回家被照顧的感覺，現在我又要一個人了。

不過，新的開始，新的盼望！

我越來越喜歡我的房間，大小也剛剛好，蠻適合我的空間。為什麼那時候來的時候會覺得小呢？哈哈

今天真的很順利很快速的搬完！並且寶貝還賣了他的車，我還去吃飯聊天了。

感覺要花一段時間好好整理一下東西！

Say goodbye to your car!

鋪好床就完成整理的一大半，因為可以睡了！晚安天父，謝謝你愛我疼我保護我。晚安志勇，雖然你都不爭氣的先睡著，但我懂你的可愛。晚安爸爸媽媽妹妹，我很愛你們也很想你們。

基督徒應有的樣式

又勸少年人要謹守。
你自己凡事要顯出善行的榜樣；
在教訓上要正直、端莊， 言語純全，無可指責，
叫那反對的人，既無處可說我們的不是，便自覺羞愧。


勸 僕人要順服自己的主人，凡事討他的喜歡，
不可頂撞他，
不可私拿東西，
要顯為忠誠，以致凡事尊榮我們救主－上帝的道。

因為上帝救眾人的恩典已經顯明出來，
教訓我們除去不敬虔的心和世俗的情慾，
在今世自守、公義、敬虔度日， 等候所盼望的福，
並等候至大的上帝和我們 救主耶穌基督的榮耀顯現。 

他為我們捨了自己，要贖我們脫離一切罪惡，又潔淨我們，
特作自己的子民，熱心為善。
 這些事你要講明，勸戒人，用各等權柄責備人；

不可叫人輕看你。 (提多書 2:6-15 CUNP-上帝)


昨晚一下班
雖然真的很想要回家睡覺休息
但我真的很想要為神的福音做一些事, 真的不想要再浪費一天不帶門徒

跟Kitty 聊天時...他說他要帶Jerty 去北加散心親近神
我聽到時, 心裡無限感動
這就是付出, 讓人無比感動的付出
我一直很羨慕為甚麼Kitty 可以帶出愛主的門徒
而我一個都沒有...到底秘方是神麼...到底做了什麼
然後我覺得很慚愧...似乎我都只是做得剛剛好而已...似乎我一直在為自己找藉口太遠太忙太累要約會而沒有時間關心人帶門徒

我似乎一直比較愛自己的小心翼翼計較自己的付出
我能夠為了一個不知道會不會有果效的方式陪伴Jerty 而開車去北加州嗎? 我真的愛人到這個地步, 像是聖經中那個撒瑪麗亞人嗎?

我真的活出基督的樣式嗎?

然後這個晚上, 我先打給Jerty 關心她
不知道怎麼關心他愛他...只能聽他說話, 陪她禱告
陪她一起流淚~
之後....

我跟Ruth 做discipleship 也在讀這個....我覺得我常常會很害怕得罪人而不敢challenge人, 跨過那條線去說出一些" 你要跟隨主, 神要你去愛人, 去帶門徒, 使他們受洗" 就是這麼簡單...但我常常並不敢這樣去要求人
但其實神是給我們這個權柄去講明, 勸戒, 知道如果我愛Ruth, 我就應該有勇氣說出挑戰他的話語

晚上結束後...我們約了時間一起來操練禱告...每周相見:)  我感到期待感到盼望, 感謝神給我一個機會讓我能付出時間服事人, 我期待Ruth 的生命能被翻轉, 能更加有勇氣去踏出一步去愛人
不計較自己的益處, 愛的心甘樂意!

神放在我心中的一個感動要邀請團契的其他人一起來做每日靈修
我不想要澆熄, 不想要因為累而拖延...
所以我回家前打給Timothy, Josh, Eric Wu, Whitney,Alice 然後他們也欣然的答應一起開始讀經
我期待神要在我們團契做的大事, 他要我們天天親近他, 天天親近他的話語
雖然喉嚨痛得很難發出聲音了
但是我好興奮能與神一起同工  能夠看到人say YES to GOD's words.

命令的總歸—》愛

也不可聽從荒渺無憑的話語和無窮的家譜；這等事只生辯論，並不發明上帝在信上所立的章程。 但命令的總歸就是愛；這愛是從清潔的心和無虧的良心，無偽的信心生出來的。 有人偏離這些，反去講虛浮的話， 想要作教法師，卻不明白自己所講說的所論定的。 (提摩太前書 1:4-7 CUNP-上帝)


Love is the Biggest commandment in all God's command.
Real Love comes from....
Clean heart
Righteous conscious
Real faith


神就是乾淨(聖潔), 真實, 良善----> 而這就是最美好的愛<3

不舒服

昨晚很早就累的休息了
早上起來喉嚨好痛, 肚子痛, 月經也來了
在床上很難受的睡不了
全身都很不舒服

來公司.... 昨晚跟寶貝說我愛他  他也都  已讀不回
又沒想到我的完全不跟我說早安...

身體真的很不舒服.....
覺得特別委屈  都沒人關心...也不理我
跟他說  我很不舒服  他也沒有很在意的感覺....
知道他忙卻還是會自私的希望他多關心我的狀況


現在....難受的很想要吐...不知道是昨天受涼了還是怎樣
完全無法專心工作
很難受

Holy One, You have won my heart

Want to record this live video so bad~~~
Great worship and music
The peace and joy flows from the piano, the singing, the praise and longing

Lord, How I love you~~~~

God's smile

我的心哪，你為何憂悶？為何在我裡面煩躁？應當仰望神，因他笑臉幫助我，我還要稱讚他。

神的笑臉是如何呢?
每次這句經文都出現在我腦海中安慰我,給我力量!

回答禱告安慰我的神

一早起來

看到kitty 興奮的激勵大家為團契禱告使心裡的火不被澆熄。

心裡的不平衡升起⋯覺得自己不被團契需要了，大家都聽kitty 的話了，上帝到底要我做些什麼呢？我做了半年的團長似乎什麼都心有餘而力不足的沒有把人帶起來。。我開始比較，開始覺得自己可以離開團契了，團契不需要我了，我不但畢業了，也不再住在Irvine了。當初的那個熱血的激情也因為沒有成效而退縮。我知道這是我心中的驕傲，看到大家合一，我應該更要開心，看到大家被挑旺，我應該更加為這個感謝神，但為什麼就是有個聲音一直跟我說這些都不與我有份，我好像沒參與到神的國神的計劃。我知道我在乎人的眼光，人的贊同，人的喜歡和肯定我當團長的資格，但現在的一無是處什麼人都沒帶起來(disciple anyone)的比較，我覺得很垂頭喪氣。我知道我應該要更在乎上帝使用kitty 在我們當中的心意，和計畫，我也始終很感恩她可以來到我們當中挑旺大家。我求神改變我的心態，拿去一堆謊言和使我憂悶的想法。早上諸事不順，又用吹風機燙傷，又忘記轉freeway 57而導致很晚才到公司。我的心一直在掙扎知道我需要有改變，我的心態需要轉變，需要有pure motive,需要在乎神的國而不是在乎人的眼光和認同。然後我打開聖經想尋求神的話語來安慰我⋯然後看著看著⋯⋯好想哭，一字一句清楚的在我面前⋯清楚的跟我說不要在乎人的崇拜和讚美來做事，單單要為了神的心意而行事。我的心好像不再有爭扎和苦讀，而是我也願意來禱告求神使用我，求神跟我說他的心意，怎樣來配搭我的同工，怎樣服事這個團契？我要禁食甜食來花時間禱告尋求神，讓二月有個新的開始。

"For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (1 Thessalonians 2:3-12 NIV)" 

Simple date:)

雖然最後起了些爭執

但是還是蠻開心寶貝今天來陪我吃飯
在Irene 家吃飯雖然不是我本來預期的
但是還是很開心寶貝也跟我一樣吃得很開心~~感覺一定合他的胃
而且看得出來寶貝今天很帥, 穿了很帥的襯衫, 很帥的皮鞋:)) 還剪了頭髮

還帶我去吃冰淇淋~~~~

陪我去買菜幫我提籃子，幫我按摩膝蓋<3

感受到他的用心和愛

挺幸福的

主耶穌從不停止愛我

漂亮又會唱歌的敬拜主領在台上說：我們心中是不是有這麼一兩件事，我們認為我們自己可以做好，於是我們靠自己的力量努力，努力。很累，很辛苦，最後累得沒有力氣，累得支離破碎⋯

我的眼淚好像被瞭解的一樣再也無法憋住的嘩啦啦留下來

不是敬拜的歌多感動，或是我多喜歡，或是哪一句歌詞打動我的心，而是我在神面前像小孩一樣認輸

我向神流淚，說，我真的累了，這段感情我努力又努力，分析自己又不斷改變自己，靠著自己累得體無完膚，當初自在幸福願意完全交託的我現在把這個感情抓的緊緊的。不願再失去，不願也害怕他走，常常無法相信這個愛我的男人，生氣，質疑，鬧脾氣，無理取鬧，壓迫人控制人。

現在我願意放手，主啊，我的未來我不想要再抓的緊緊的了，又累又鬧得我們兩人無法呼吸無法前進。主啊，如果你要帶他回中國，跟我永遠分手，我也順服，如果你要我們繼續走，我也順服你的帶領。

然後敬拜帶到： 你真好

主啊，你恩典直到永遠，慈愛直到永遠，憐憫直到永遠

敬拜主領繼續說，我們心中都有一些苦讀，一些抱怨，一些難過的事，我們是不是願意把它交在神手中。

主，謝謝你安慰我，使我踏實，你是那真實的神，那給我安慰讓我活的平靜美好的真神。無論我多麼覺得自己沒事，藏啊藏，都藏不過神愛我，神想釋放我，安慰我的愛

拉拉隊的心💕

羊角，空瓶，火把，手中無刀彰顯耶和華的同在。悔改，順服，跟從，與神同行見證救世主的真實。

One and God make majority.

Happy girls are the prettiest.

Blessed---being thankful

Daily blessing.....:) Things that make me SMILE, things that brighten my day, things I am thankful for.

1. chocolate Latte-------No idea I can make that using that coffee machine!! Thinking of having some chocolate milk to start my day instead of coffee which I still don't like...AND, I met a new co-worker Mike. He taught me how to combine chocolate milk with latte. And it is delicious, definitely warm my morning:)

2. Learning new thing make me happy. I am thankful Wadgy is willing to teach me many new terms and explain how the conformity process needed to be done.

3. Thankful mommy and Cindy and Grandma are coming to have dinner with me:) I am happy Josh can also join us for dinner.

4. Food again~~~~~Irene mom made an Fried egg for me!!!! My favorite!!!

公司又有新的零食了~~~~  好開心~~

中餐有Irene mom home-made 高級的麻油雞湯(高粱酒)~~ 加一個我最愛的荷包蛋!!!!

捨不的搬離他家了啦

溫暖的感覺

早上一顆茶葉蛋溫暖了我的心

我真怕我會捨不得離開Irene 他們家！

胃暖暖，心暖暖

早上洗個澡，精神超好的上班去！love it!

新的一天，新的盼望！

我真的無比感謝神，離我工作大概一分鍾的地方有一個很大的基督教書店。我感覺我以後下班都可以去那裡逛逛，去那裡看書。昨天等簽房子合約的時候，我翻了翻在情人節區的關於婚姻的書。 一開始就被他的title 給吸引～

女人所需要的愛，男人所需要的尊重。

看著一個一個心碎女人男人的故事，而他們怎麼在尋求神當中得到醫治，得到釋放和能夠原諒的能力。變得堅強，變得幸福，成為一直以來想成為的妻子角色。

看一看眼淚都在眼角～無比感動

神的聖靈安慰著我的苦讀，安慰我的努力。

好想買這本書⋯⋯$22.9!!!!! So expensive 

當然還有我最愛的Francis Chan and His wife Lisa一起寫的婚姻書。

他們一起敬畏神，一起愛神，一起服事神！我打從心底羨慕感動！

回到家！又有好吃的熱熱酸辣湯～～～～～

對於我空空的胃,太享受了

Thank you Father in heaven, I love you:))))

零食

上班一週最困擾我的就是太餓！

一下從家裡搬來一大堆零食

沒想到今天發現原來公司好多零食

又有泡麵，又有pretzel, 還有超棒的軟糖

So blessed

So blessed to listen ihop worship while working. Peaceful and fulfilling ~~~

滿滿的愛

每次離開家

都會帶著滿滿的愛

我很棒的

求神拿走我的軟弱
給我更多勇氣去做得更好

數算神的恩典

傾盆大雨回家的路上
我數算著神的恩典:)

神給我一個超級出乎我意料之外的好工作, 這個工作還是自己找上門的驚喜. phone interview本來完全不抱希望的, 卻之後接二連三通過individual and Group interview. 這個過程很多等待和無可奈何, 有質疑有難過... 但是直到正式看到合約的email那一刻, 我真的在街上又叫又跳很久!! 感覺心情平坦很多....享受最後三個禮拜的假期:)

第一天上班帶著忐忑不安的心情見到一個個之前跟我面試的人熱情的歡迎我說: We were expecting you and waiting for you to join our team for so long.
感覺緊張到甚至覺得自己是不是不值得, 真的可以把工作做好? 英文會不會很不好無法表達清楚? 自己真的可以像在interview 推銷自己那麼好嗎? 我真的可以做好自己的工作嗎?

直到今天, 我好像才能慢慢接受我將會在這個公司上班, 我也會天天去上班. 心終於沒有那種緊張懸在半空中的感覺了

數算恩典
1. 感謝神我可以住在Irene 他們家, 每天都有回到家溫暖的感覺. Irene 媽媽很早給我準備羊肉湯和飯讓我可以帶便當, 那一刻我真的快要哭出來了! 沒想到, 除了媽媽之外還有人煮超好吃的飯菜疼愛我
下班之後, 一進門, 就有好吃的晚餐留給我, 這種感覺真的太幸福太溫馨, 心情瞬間開闊許多,一整天的疲累就在跟irene 媽媽和Irene, eric 抱怨分享完後煙消雲散. 每天有人可以講講話真好:)

2. 迷糊糟糕的我竟然完全沒有把我的重要文件帶來orientation. 感謝妹Cindy和爸爸媽媽一早爬起來幫我Scan 一大堆文件讓我可以順利度過第一天上班. 一家人為了幫助我上班帶我逛街, 聽我問的每一個問題, 聽我分享每天公司發生的大大小小事情, 好想他們...

3. 我的同部門同事昨天開始主動到我小框框邀請我跟他們一群男生吃飯,並且帶我認識其他部門的小夥伴們, 跟我解釋我不懂的地方 讓我終於感覺可以有勇氣踏出一步交朋友. 今天他還主動印了一份acronym list 給我說: It might be helpful for you! 超級超級感動!! 他不是帶我的同事, 卻很細心的幫助我適應公司:)
4. 今天下班能有Kitty約我吃晚餐, 分享生命中的經歷, 幫我禱告, 給我鼓勵, 最重要的是,在我要付錢時, 竟然發現他已經幫我付錢了!!!! 最近極窮的我...超級感動!!!!! 這三天上班, 一直在跟肚子餓奮戰...期待中午吃飯和下班吃飯... 下班完全累得不想去買一點零嘴, 結果Kitty 就帶了一包零食說讓我上班可以吃!!! WOW PTL:)
5. 感謝今天早上小小的地震讓我多了一個話題可以跟午餐同事聊~
6. 感謝好多關心我的人, 聽我分享抱怨我的第一天, 第二天:)
7. 感謝一個人每天上班前都幫我加油, 關心我, 祝福我有神滿滿的恩典
8.感謝志勇幫我找了一個亞洲的網站可以找房子, 也有找到很不錯的房子
9. 今天回家時暴雨....多次在高速公路上打滑, 大家以25 mph 的速度在freeway 前進... 快到家時, 雨下得特別大, 好像水桶般的倒下來, 我心裡擔心等一下下車還要拿好多東西, 拿我的文件, 穿高跟鞋, 又沒有雨傘肯定淋成落湯雞...正考慮拿手機打給Irene 請他幫我開車庫門我可以更容易更快跑進他家, 我心裡禱告主阿! 讓雨停吧! 至少讓我下車不要被淋太慘... 結果!!!!!! 一進他家社區, 雨神奇地變得連雨刷都不用刷了!! 下車時, 已經完全沒有雨了, 而且Irene 家的車庫門也是為我敞開!!! 我不可思議的感謝神~~

雖然一進公司甚麼都不懂, 要學好多東西讀一大堆documents 但是神的恩典卻從來都滿滿的加添!!! Thank you Father in heaven!

第二天

雖然很早睡，早上還是整個起不來⋯

八點十五就到公司了

今天有人主動邀我吃中餐

一群男生我一個女生，我完全都沒辦法講句話⋯⋯哎 很想突破。

來美國那麼久了，我整個還是融入不了，無法隨意講話，感覺憋的慌，難過的要命。

如果以後都沒法好好多講一些話，每天怕成這樣，唉唉唉唉 求神給我勇氣讓我願意踏出英文不好的這一步。對自己有信心一點可以不要怕的說話和表達自己想什麼。

早上，Irene 媽媽讓我帶了羊肉湯和飯當中飯，超級好吃的！！

但還沒下班我的肚子就餓的受不了，下班後去看了一個placenta 的房子，離公司才2.5 miles. 可惜沒人在家，只好明早去看看了。

很大的房子

晚上回到家有飯吃真對肚子餓死的我來說只有：幸福兩個字！！！

還害我去買了一大片披薩⋯⋯⋯ 沒胃吃了

好累，該睡了。今天怎麼才週二啊！

上班這一檔事

真的上班了⋯

可沒想像中容易賺錢⋯

第一天上班，緊張到拉肚子，時時刻刻的無法好好呼吸好好笑的感覺

好累，好緊張，好怕犯錯，好怕不應該進這樣好的公司。

有自己的位置，自己的電腦，兩大螢幕，就在老闆房間的旁邊！

公司好大一直走迷路～～中午只能一人開車到外面吃飯⋯⋯

Cafe!

回家還有遲來的禮物：）

昨天連等手機充電完可以寫日記的時間都等不及⋯⋯九點多就睡著了

本只想寫：精疲力竭。句點